"Judge not, lest ye be judged."

I admit, at times I struggle to grasp a loving God allowing seemingly unloving things. But I know that cannot make me think: how cruel, how unfair, how could He? For this same concept was answered in Romans 9 thousands of years ago. "Who are you, O man, to answer back to God? Will what is molded say to its Molder, 'Why have You made me like this?'" And I know that isn't much comfort to most because it doesn't offer any explanation except that God is in control and He does what is best, even if we don't understand how. But God doesn't need us to make excuses for Him. 

Telling the world the equivalents of "He didn't mean it!" and "He didn't do it!" does not bring them closer to God. It attempts to remove God's sovereignty in order to prove His love. Why can both not exist, the Judge and the Sacrifice? True, they seem contradictory, but would you remove the mystery of the complex nature of God in order to convince people to become Christians?

And if you do, have you really convinced them to be Christians at all? Would it not rather be a continuation of man-centered thoughts, bowing them at the feet of an idol we've constructed as we're blown about by every wave and wind of teaching (Ephesians 4:14).

"But who would ever turn to a God that allows tragedy when He has the power to stop it?" But the Holy Spirit is promised. It is He Who renews our minds, so that we see clearly that pain is not a wrongdoing of God against poor, pitied man. Rather, as our Creator, He has the responsibility to reshape us, His malfunctioning creation, into working condition, and that is not without pain.

It is a mercy that He has allowed us to continue after our first glitch, our first sin, so we might turn to Him for repair. But instead of awe at the grace of it, we sit in our indignation, pouting and exclaiming that we were "born this way" and everyone should "love our flaws" (Read: expecting people to think you're wonderful when you act selfish and prideful. No. Hold yourself to the same standards you hold others to.).

The scary thing is, many apply this same principle to God. "If [He] doesn't accept me at my worst, then [He] doesn't deserve me at my best." And we ever-so-culturally-relevant Christians repackage that into church-acceptable vernacular, but we're spewing the same garbage. We say things like: Jesus ate with sinners and God is love and "judge not lest ye be judged." All true. But we leave out the context, the consequences of that love.

Most who use this as their message just want their audience to think, "Wow, how open-minded this lone diamond of a Christian is." We fight for "God's" reputation in an effort to bolster ours, and in so doing, we damage His and cover up truth.

By claiming God didn't mean all that "wrath stuff" in the Old Testament, or saying He doesn't have the final say over everything that happens, we side with unbelievers against the actions and goodness of God. We believe that those things are unfair, unjust.

We discredit Him, trying to release Him from the blame we place on His actions. "Sure God commanded Israel to kill people, but... it's different now. Look at Jesus instead!" But we can't properly look at Jesus until we linger in the actions of God in the Old Testament.

Why did He seem to change? What happened between Malachi and Matthew? Did God take a cosmic nap and get less grumpy?

We are told in the Bible that God doesn't change. His nature is constant; His actions are consistent with that nature. And we certainly didn't change. Mankind didn't suddenly become more lovable.

What changed is the focus of God's wrath.

When Jesus came to earth, He lived a perfect life. He was born into human nature yet held fast to holiness and purity, to His Father. And in the end, He became the object of God's wrath.

Did God not mean to give His perfect Son over to torture, rejection, abandonment, crucifixion, and then, eventually (finally) death? Did God have control over this terrible, wonderful thing?

We wouldn't dare say differently. There are too many verses where Jesus Himself declares it to be true.

Maybe we have an easier time believing it because it benefits us. 

God is love, Jesus did eat with sinners, and He even did say "judge not lest ye be judged." But we cannot ignore what followed.

First, Jesus ate with "sinners" not because they were sinners, but because they recognized their sin, the consequences of that sin, and the spectacular relief of Jesus saying, "Your sins are forgiven." He met with sinners, but He didn't let them leave as sinners. With a, "Go and sin no more," He commanded them to change their entire manner of life, means of income, living situations. He called them to do radically difficult, painful, costly things in His Name, motivating and empowering them with His mercy and kindness and later gifting them with the Holy Spirit as Guide.

Let's not forget Jesus ate with Pharisees, too, and He spent most of that time pronouncing really harsh judgments against them for their pride and greed and false worship.

In summation: Jesus didn't eat with sinners because He approved of their sin but because they recognized Christ as the remedy for it. 

Second, there's more to a verse than meets the public's eye. After Jesus tells them, "Judge not," He tells a parable about first removing the log that is in your eye. People like this quote, too, and leave off the last bit of that sentence, in which you then do remove the "speck that is in your brother's eye." Why is this left out? Because it's "offensive". But... how? Honestly? How is someone removing sawdust from your eye harmful, rude? Is it not helpful? And what sweet relief when it is gone!

Many Christians have been led to believe that you show love by withholding judgement. Here Jesus tells us to hold up our judgements to ourselves first, then to others. And it's not that I'm not allowed to hold someone accountable for lying because I have also lied in my lifetime. I can hold them accountable while allowing them to hold me accountable. 

Withholding judgement doesn't actually do any good, it just means you both walk around with crap in your eyes, and no one is willing to do anything about it because it will hurt for a few seconds. Don't confuse that temporary pain with unkindness or a lack of love.

1 Corinthians 5 does put a condition on this judgement. Paul says, "What have I to do with judging outsiders? Is it not those inside the church whom you are to judge? God judges those outside. 'Purge the evil person from among you.'" (P.S. When he says "purge," he is not calling for their murder, but their removal from the local church with hope for their return. As in, do not call them Christians while they intentionally reject the teachings of Christ, just as most practitioners of Islam reject "Radical" Islam as true Islam.)

So, it is our job, as Christians, to hold other Christians accountable. It is to be with the purpose of repentance and reconciliation, in the event of which we are then to "affirm our love for [them] so that [they] will not be overwhelmed with excessive sorrow" (2 Corinthians 2:7).

It is also our job to speak truth to those who are outside the church. To "judge" motivated by compassion, fear for the state of their souls because what God says is true. His Kingdom is real. It is eternal. His judgement is right, good, and just.

Every speech we read in Acts by one of the disciples leads in with the reality of the human condition. It isn't until the audience-- "cut to the heart"-- asks "What can we do?" (Acts 2) that they tell them of the forgiveness and freedom found by repenting and following Christ.

Maybe these Judge-Not Christians think they are saying, "You're wrong, but I'm not going to turn my back on you. I am going to tell you of the hope that is found in Christ."

I pray that's what they are saying.

But I have seen too many church leaders speak only of love, to the point of becoming not only tolerant of sin in the church, but, in the air of culture, applauding it. Like "Wow, we're so real," and then they're sitting around admiring everyone's willingness to share their sin. Then, if not careful, making light of their sin. Then doing nothing to change it, finding excuse and comfort in solidarity. This is why Galatians 6:1 is written.

Many look around at their churches and think, "Wow, so many fake Christians," not realizing they are the ones who make it that way-- disciples not of Jesus but of an easier imitation of the call of Christ, one that requires little more than Sunday attendance and a few hand-raising renditions of shallow songs. We make them feel better about themselves by telling them how loved they are, how blessed they are, how God answers prayer.

But what of the topics that make us squirm a little and avert our eyes so no one catches us looking guilty? Or talking about the commands of God, the sacrifices of worldly pleasure and attitude and worries, that He asks of us?

It is dangerous when we don't care enough about our congregation to notice, let alone to say, "Hey, I know you're struggling. I want to see you do the right thing. I want to help you, because I know it's difficult." If we don't preach the life of a true follower of Christ, why subject themselves to a charade of piety every Sunday?

This is why so many people stop going to church, why so many think Christianity is a hypocritical farce.  Not because we don't "love" enough, but because we aren't loving correctly. When we water the Gospel down, we offer the same "love" found in the world, but with extra stipulations and an air of self-righteousness. It's not sustainable. And it isn't truth. God's love is unconditional, and it is also life-changing. It demands everything from us, and it is worth it all.

Love people with the love of God, not with the love of the world. Only one will last. 

It comes down to this:

If someone is outside the church and makes no claim to follow Christ, it is your responsibility to speak truth in love with gentleness and respect and to inform him of the Gospel of the finished work of Christ. But we can't get angry at someone or mock them or cut someone off for not upholding the commands of a God they either don't believe in or couldn't care less about. Do we really think that we would choose to do any differently? If so, we are the ones who need a reminder of the Gospel, that we were once "dead in our trespasses and sins" (Ephesians 2:1) until Jesus literally had to die and come back to life in order for us to have the ability to follow Christ. We do not have the power to obey on our own, only through the Holy Spirit. Unbelievers do not have the power nor the motivation to obey a God they do not love.

However, if someone is sitting in the pew next to you, week after week, claiming to be a Christian, it is your responsibility to speak truth in love with gentleness and respect, to hold them accountable to the Word of God, to point them to the Gospel of the finished work of Christ, to "forgive and comfort them, so that they will not be overwhelmed by excessive sorrow." Where opinion differs or understanding wavers, defer to the Bible, the truth that has been passed down for thousands of years without shifting its message for shifty human perception. It is your duty-- as a fellow Christian, to the Church, and to God Himself-- to hold that believer accountable to the knowledge and commands of God.

"Christianity isn't a religion, it's a relationship"? Part Two.

In Part One, I talked about the confusion between people who grew up in church and those who did not when hearing "Christian-ese," those catchy phrases churches like to use. Specifically, "Christianity isn't a religion, it's a relationship."

Before we can use this phrase with any efficacy, I think it's important to define the term "religion."

Like I said, when churches put this on their signs or their twitter bios or their what-have-you's, it probably doesn't convey the message they want it to (at least not to people that aren't Christians, which I generally assume to be their intended audience). Christians typically use this phrase as a paraphrase of "I desire mercy and not sacrifice." Like, "I love God, I don't just do a bunch of traditions in a designated building once a week." Which is good; please don't. 

But the truth is-- although Christ is the basis and the greater meaning behind all the former laws and prophecies-- Christianity is a set of teachings and it does have rituals and actions specific to it. Christianity isn't simply knowing Christ, it is the way in which we are told to follow Him in response to getting to know Him better. And that is the definition of "religion."

And that's why I think it's incorrect to say that Christianity is only relationship and no religion.

Well, maybe not incorrect, but incomplete.

It isn't legalistic to love the Law of the Lord. It isn't wrong for us to think about how to put the Word into action in our lives, even if it's a disciplined reaction and you aren't that excited about it at the time. That is where I get a little afraid of this phrase's implications.

As a response to the accusations of legalism from the world, who say we don't love them because, we tell them they will have to change after we tell them they can come as they are. We can't love God and keep on doing what He hates with reckless abandon.

We shouldn't try to sound like we are these free-loving, only-grace-no-judgement people who "just love Jesus," because that's misleading to people who currently define love as "someone who benefits me and thinks I'm awesome and doesn't try to change me." Do you see the difference? Do you see the problem? 

God made up the laws and rituals of obedience and repentance through sacrifice (religion). He doesn't hate them. I mean, heck, He was a sacrifice. These laws were given as a map to living a life that is pleasing to Him. But we're really timid to say that, to say that there are rules to follow. When Jesus says, "Go and sin no more," we see that there is more to following Christ than just thinking He is really great and believing He has the power to make us feel better.

I've been reading through the Gospels these past few weeks and what keeps catching my mind is the difference between being amazed by Jesus and being changed by Him. Since my earliest readings of the Bible, I've been confused about why Jesus told people not to tell everyone about the miracle He'd just done. My interpretations have ranged from an appearance of humility to "but ugh why??" scribbled in the margins.

My most recent thought is that He was trying to prevent people from coming to see Him for a show rather than for teaching. I say this because when we see those that have been healed still tell people (understandably), literally the entire town and a few surrounding ones are soon crowded around Jesus waiting to be healed or to see someone else healed.

They wanted a spectacle. They weren't looking to understand of Who He was/is. They'd follow Him around as long as He was looking powerful and beneficial, but miracles are not all He came to do. And I think that is why He told people not to tell anyone-- so that His teaching might be the central focus with miracles a whispered side note in confirmation of His authority.

And I think that is the danger of saying that Christianity is relationship only. We're like "Hey, just let me love Jesus, I don't need all that other stuff." But it super doesn't work that way.

Because, Christianity isn't only a religion or only a relationship. It is both. Christianity is a religion because it is the means by which we follow a personal God, and it's a relationship because He is an autonomous Being with His Own thoughts and feelings resulting in the specified way He desires to be followed (as He details throughout the Bible).

He is the Relationship (Jesus the connection) and the relationship is the religion, because it is done according to His commands. That's how we relate to Him, how we worship Him. Relationship and religion can't be separated when it comes to Christianity. The Person and the ways in which the Person wants to be related to are One.

We don't decide the terms of His covenant, He does. We don't get to decide what we do or don't want to believe about Jesus's teachings. It's all or nothing. 

Christianity is a religion, it just isn't an impersonal one.

"Christianity isn't a religion, it's a relationship"? Part One.

"Christianity isn't a religion, it's a relationship."

A lot of people fault the church for having their own vernacular that doesn't cater to those who are outside it. A lot of church members hear that complaint but don't know how to remedy it. In fact, we often try to redefine the world's conception of our terms without really asking what their original conception is.

I personally think this is one of those cases.

We want people to know that God is a personal God and that there is more to following Him than rules, so we try to pick on the word "religion" right along with them. But I feel like we end up looking like those people that try to jump in on other people's inside jokes, making everyone feel really uncomfortable.

Of course, not everyone has the same connotations. It depends a lot on who they've come in contact with and the people they admire or dislike.

But most people don't define religion the same way the church does. When people who haven't grown up in church say they hate religion, it typically isn't them saying they hate ritualistic actions that aren't backed up by a true spirit of reverence and love for God.

That's the "Christian-ese" definition.

And we should hate heartless rituals because God hates them, too (Isaiah 1:12-15, etc). We should strive to have true motivation in everything that we do, and that comes through personal growth and pursuit of understanding through the Word and prayer. And that is a relationship. 

But I think there's something we all need to accept:

Christianity is also a religion.

You can't have Jesus without His decrees. We can't separate the teachings of the Person from the Person teaching. And that's what we're doing. Or at least what it sounds like we're doing.

Hey, maybe that gives us an opportunity to get into a discussion with the unbeliever who is really confused about the Christian that says they hate religion. That's good, I hope that happens. But it's hard to see the benefit of the saying being plastered on billboards or twitter feeds with no further discussion.

Connotation is important. And their connotation is probably different than ours and maybe it's counterproductive sometimes.

(It's so funny, though, the satisfaction churchgoers seem to get out of confusing the outside world with semantics. Like the "Wait, what?" of an unbeliever echoes internally as a giddy little victory for us. "Look at us, stunning the world with what really goes on inside these doors. Silly misconceptions. I bet you wanna be a Christian now, right?")

It is good for the Church to define our terms when interacting with the world. What do we really mean when we say   insert churchy jargon here  ? I think it's equally important for us to understand what they really mean when they give their opinions on   insert anything here  . We can get so offended sometimes that we don't even realize the disagreement is mainly between what we hear them saying and what they actually mean to say, and vice versa. 

Not that our worldviews don't fundamentally disagree; I'm really just saying we can debate all day about how, for example, faith is either stupid or life-giving, and get nowhere because their definition of faith is "believing without evidence" and ours is "trust based on fulfilled prophecy, recorded eyewitness testimony, historical evidence of dependability, persistence of followers, and personal experience." So, from the outset, we're doomed to disagree.

Define your terms.

So, let's define this particular term: religion... in Part Two.

When a Christian Falls Away

"...and some of the wise shall stumble, so that they may be refined, purified, and made white..." (Daniel 11:35)

It hurts to hear someone who once followed Christ has traded Him for the pleasures of the world. There are those who go astray who were never true in their repentance at the first, just as John says in 1 John 2:19. But I believe that there are true believers, too, who walk away, spend a good deal of their time saying "yes" to sin (Titus 2:12), and return, never having lost their status as "son" in Christ, but grieving the Holy Spirit all the same.

In fact, as the Prodigal Son gave everything to his momentary pleasure until he had nothing left, it is often this wallowing in sin that causes many to return to God with even greater humility and awe and joy, knowing that when they went astray, He was steady and they were "kept" (Jude 1:1).

I don't believe God revokes justification. I don't believe we keep ourselves saved by our obedience. But where does 1 John fit into this? There is a whole section expounding the fact that "no one born of God makes a practice of sinning, for God's Seed abides in him, and he cannot keep on sinning because he has been born of God."

I think the difference is understood in this: time.

There are those who never truly knew Christ, but spoke as though they did-- and maybe even believed it themselves. In the middle of all the church activities, just like those crowds who welcomed Jesus into Jerusalem shouting one day that He was their King and the next that He should die.

After these have turned to pursue the world, few return, nor do they find any reason to. All they thought they knew of God was only second-hand and disappointing. What they had in church was never any more real (and a lot less visceral) to them than the temporary highs the world has given them since they've abandoned Him and His teaching.

However, for those who do know Christ, I feel like in the back of their minds they still fight with themselves, even just a little, knowing that what they are doing won't give them the lasting fulfillment they want. They get more and more determined to misattribute the depression and fear and shame they feel and seek to override it by committing more shameful acts until one day they find they can't continue. And so they repent because, despite all the anxiety toward returning to Christ and His church, they recognize it as the only complete hope and light to be found in the world.

And that is the difference: they do come back.

They come back to the peace and joy of God found in the study and practice of His commands.

Not back to favor with God or to salvation because that can't be lost. Those who have been called and justified cannot annul the promise of being glorified (Romans 8:30). They have the promise that the work that has been started in them by God will also be brought to completion by God (Philippians 1:6). They have the Holy Spirit as a guarantee of their salvation (Ephesians 1:4), no matter how well they've managed to stifle His conviction.

Our position before God is never based on us and how well we do choosing Christ and abstaining from sin. It is based in Christ. Always and only Christ-- His holy birth, His holy life, His holy death, His holy resurrection, all "according to the Scriptures," (1 Corinthians 15:3-4) and all the basis for the new covenant (Hebrews, especially 10:11-18) through which we stand before God.

As Colossians 3:3 states, we are hidden with Christ in God. What does this mean but that the unity Jesus prayed for in John 17 has been granted-- that just as He and the Father are one, so we also may be one with each other and, all together, with Him.

We cannot be separated. The Father and Christ cannot be separated; they are One eternally. The Father turned His back on His Son on the cross as He became sin for us (1 Corinthians 5:21), but Jesus didn't cease to be the Father's Son. No, that inexorable title and nature is what caused Christ to rise from the dead in victory! In salvation, we, too-- because we are "hidden in" (within; protected, renewed, kept, and insured by) One who will never be cast away-- are ourselves never to be cast away.

Perhaps you will say that because we are hidden in Christ, we will not give in to sin again for any extended amount of time. Lord willing that will be true. But how much time is too much? For surely we all sin, and that sin takes time to commit. Is there a limit? a grace period that expires at a certain mark, after which you lose your salvation? I don't believe there to be such a scale.

Let's go back to Colossians 3, adding in Ephesians 2-4 which begins with Paul telling us that, though still physically on earth, we also are seated with Christ in Heaven. We see from the order of action in both of these passages that it is only from that position that we are able to give up sin. We are not in Christ because we are doing a good job of resisting temptation on our own. We fight to become sinless because we have been made alive in Christ, and it is only by the strength that He provides that we can obey (Philippians 2:13).

Our position doesn't change because Christ never changes, and, if we are in Him, we are protected by His perfection. He has given His perfect record to us forever. He did not wipe our slate clean at the beginning of salvation to then begin a new record of wrongs.

Yes, God knows our current sins. He isn't blind to our actions; He knows when we've gone astray. But He doesn't attach His wrath to that knowledge, "for Christ also suffered once for sins, the righteous for the unrighteous, to bring you to God." The sentence for every sin we have, are, or will commit has already been spent on Christ.

And that is why we shouldn't continue sinning.

Why Hebrews 10 goes on to say that when we sin, we have "trampled underfoot the Son of God, and profaned the blood of the covenant by which [we are] sanctified, and has treated with arrogance the Spirit of grace."

How dare we disgrace that which has given us our freedom. How much greater wrath do we deserve who spitefully disregard He Who destroyed Himself, so we could be made whole in Him? What further hope do we have than Christ?

But His blood and His covenant, even in the face of great contempt, do not become ineffectual. Because God cannot deny Himself (2 Timothy 2:13), He remains faithful to the covenant He has made with His Son and with us, even when we wander.

Christ is our sacrifice, pointing to His once and for all pardon.

Christ is our King and our Judge, reminding us of His Law and writing it on our hearts, disciplining us in whatever way necessary to cause us to feel true remorse over the "sin that so easily entangles" (Hebrews 12:1) that we might return to Him in repentance.

Christ is our High Priest, "praying for us that our faith may not fail" and instructing us to "strengthen our brothers" by pointing out the deceitfulness of sin and the "surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus" (Philippians 3:8).

If we are truly in Christ, eventually we will listen. And when we've returned, we will have been further refined and purified through the fire of disappointment, discipline, and repentance.

An Open Letter to Men who Grew Up in Church

An idea that permeates almost all television and movie genres is weak men. Men who are terrible at communicating, passive in parenting, inconsiderate in friendships, dishonest in relationships, and self-centered in life goals. The husband always the cheaters, physically or mentally. The fathers are always the disinterested, "go ask your mother," parent. Men are always the ones disconnected from and complacent toward their "inferiors". They flirt indiscriminately and run from commitment. The only ones that are any different are "the one" the female lead is looking for, and usually they're so "caring" that their entire world revolves around that one, special lady (ew).

It's really a shame that we expect so little from the males around us, especially within the church.

Christian men are told constantly they should be spiritual leaders, but there are mountains of slander rebelling against them. There are over-generalizations and little compassion from the church, and, in my experience, especially from the women.

At my church, usually around tenth grade, the girls would get together, sit the guys down, and have a "talk" with them. It basically goes that they'd tell the guys they need to step up and lead for 45 minutes, but that's the end of it. There's no real advice. We tell them they aren't doing a good job without stopping to consider that maybe they haven't yet been taught how. It isn't constructive or instructive. 

When a guy volunteers to do something, many people almost sneer at them as if "it's about time we awesome women can sit back for once while a guy does something for a change." Really, there is so much bitterness and angsty speech, as if we're perfect and they're the worst.

But Biblical womanhood is about so much more than sitting back as men lead. It's about helping them to lead. We are to be a support system within the Body, each with assigned roles-- not of value or worth, but of duty.

And men have been given the duty to lead, women the duty to help them do so.

God made man to be strong, to protect, to stand up for those who can't, to serve, to lead, to love.

God made women to be strong, to encourage, to stand up for those who can't, to serve, to nurture, to respect.

Women often feel they have to "teach" the males to be men, as if women perfectly understand what that entails. We feel we have to set an example and then sigh as we sit down and make eye contact with the guy seated beside us. Like if we just tell them they're doing poorly enough times, eventually they'll stop being "lazy" and do what we ask. After all, "is it really that hard?"

But it is. Especially when many of these guys do not have Godly men discipling them, in order to "imitate them as they imitate Christ" (1 Corinthians 11:1). Many of them feel insecure now that none of the things they have done seem to count. Much of the time, their focus is forced onto pleasing us instead of God, because somehow, though He requires us "to be perfect, as our heavenly Father is perfect," we are more difficult to please. Though God has forgiven us of much, we are less willing to extend grace.

They don't need complaints, they need instruction.

They don't need nagging, they need affirmation.

They don't need girls looking with disdain on their efforts as if they aren't enough.

It takes support to be strong, to stand in the face of opposition. It takes vulnerability to live in unity of purpose. It takes other, more spiritually mature men coming alongside them, helping them to develop the ability to learn and obey God's Word and to respond to the Holy Spirit's leading. It takes specificity in instruction and examples in correction. There is no room for, "You shouldn't need me to tell you," or, "You should already know."

We need to point them to Christ instead of at their sin. To remind them of God's Word, that it isn't their strength and actions that make them acceptable to God, that there are consequences but also grace and forgiveness and love when they're wrong. 

We expect so little. We expect men to fail, to act how we are told by the media that "men" (*cross arms, side-glance, eye-roll, sigh*) "always" act.

It is often times true. Men were made to lead, to be a representation of Christ in their leading, as Christ leads the Church. Satan knows that. And so he attacks them. He attacks them with fear, self-doubt, laziness, and lack of empathy. He attacks repeatedly in attempt to wear them down into becoming passive, angry, indecisive, self-loathing.

We shouldn't let our voices endorse the message that Satan is trying to send them. Our words should not be reiterating those of our Lord's enemy.

Our words should be life-giving, refreshing their souls. They should be kind, helpful, and honest, comforting their hearts and strengthening their minds. As "fellow heirs" and "brothers and sisters," we should build them up to become like Christ, Who was confident by faith in the Word and love and plan of God. We should acknowledge small steps in the right direction. 

It is the job of the Holy Spirit to convict. No matter how many times we remind anyone of something in the Bible, it is the Holy Spirit Who gives the words effect. Knowing this, we don't need to say (or imply passive-aggressively...) something incessantly, making our tone and message and body language exponentially more disparaging and making ourselves more and more bitter and prideful in the process. Speak truth to one another, yes, and pray. Pray until you see change and then keep praying. It is in prayer that God keeps your heart tender to those around you-- even those who continue to mess up, no matter how many times you admonish them. 

We must regard one another with humility, gentleness, and respect, remembering that it is the grace of God that we have any revelation of His will at all, and that "it is He Who works in us, both to will and to work according to His good pleasure." Of course there is effort on our part, and it is important to speak honest words that point out error, but, as Matthew 18 commands, our rebuke should be private, and it shouldn't be condemning. It should be done in the willingness to listen, understand, help, and to see them restored.

In Christ, our guilt is gone. Who are we to continue to hold it against them?

In Christ, we are given a new heart. Who are we to think theirs is any less responsive than ours?

In Christ, we are made one. Who are we to speak harshly against members of our own body and feel no pain on their behalf?

Let our words be kind and our actions true, all done in hope that the Body may "build itself up" in unity and in the restoration of relationships and reputation, instead of torn down by the defeat of self-fulfilling prophecy and gossip and pride.

Don't Wait for Your Future Spouse

"Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise, making the best use of the time, because the days are evil... giving thanks always and for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ." Ephesians 5.

Women of God encouraging younger women of God to wait patiently for their husbands wooed me into a dissonance of trust and hope. See, over and over again, I was told that "if you just pray", "if you just give up your desires to the Lord", "if you just do what He has you doing now", He will bring the right man at the right time.

Let's translate that into how I perceived it as a 7th grader:

"As soon as you stop looking, you'll trip over him as he's on one knee proposing to you!"

"Focus on obeying God and suddenly there will be the man of your dreams right beside you!"

And how I feel when I find myself still single:

"You have not sufficiently given God your desires to marry."

"You are not obedient enough to warrant a husband."

Needless to say, it was discouraging. And it was also deceiving. Because that just isn't how it works. I wish I had thought through my perceptions before they became instilled in me as truth.

With this mindset, not only am I discouraged about my faith because of my lack of romantic relationships, but I am deceived by my own hidden motives. If I do this, I will get that. I walk in obedience in one direction, the whole time checking back over my shoulder to see if my husband is falling in love with me yet. Suddenly, my obedience and fervor to speak of and act out the Gospel is less about genuine concern and service rendered as unto the Lord, and more of a self-serving "sacrifice" meant to give me what I want.

Maybe this is just my idolatry of marriage playing in to my thoughts. I know this to be at least partially true, as I've been looking ahead to the time of being able to love someone and have them love me in return until death do us part since I was aboouuut 8 years old. So I know I've thrown in some of my own biases while interpreting these well-meaning ladies.

But I think we need to be more specific when it comes to encouraging women to wait and to trust.

God is so good. He knows what I need, who I need, where I need to go, what I need to do. He knows my hopes, and He knows what will best fulfill the desires of my heart because He's the One Who made them.

He doesn't promise that I will get everything I want, but He does promise that if I pursue first His Kingdom and righteousness, He will provide for me everything I need, as a loving father provides for his beloved son.

Need being the key word.

I do have fears of loneliness, but the only time I truly feel lonely is when I'm complaining to people about how lonely I am, because I feel like I'm supposed to, because I'm ridiculous and want pity and compliments. I want someone to tell me of my value in the eyes of men. This isn't a need.

This is silly.

An insult to the Lord, Who sustains and satisfies those who seek Him.

What I need is not to wait on something He doesn't promise, like a love story that puts all other romantic relationships to shame. Maybe one day He does have plans for me to marry, but future possibilities cannot eclipse my current responsibilities or inhibit my thanksgiving.

What I do need to wait for are the instructions that He will give, while living according to the commands He has already given. To actively be still, knowing that He is God. To "run in the path of [His] commands" with joy and trust and peace and self-discipline. 

I need to stop waiting for God to give in to my idolatry while excusing my idleness. I need to wait with hope because God is wiser than I am, His timing and gifts are perfect, He is good, and He loves me and wants what is actually best for me.

That is the best use of my time.

So what if it wasn't good for Adam to be alone, prompting God to make Eve? So what if the first relationship given to ease loneliness was a marital one? Marriage is a shadow of a reality we can all know in Christ-- married or unmarried-- as He betrothes Himself to us, just as He unites us with the Father and with the whole Church of God.

Romantic relationships are not the only ones in which we can be known and loved. They shouldn't be the only ones we put effort into. There are plenty of other interpersonal relationships in which we connect in mentally and spiritually, reminding us that we are fully known and cared for by God.

My value does not rest in the desire of a man; it rests in the constant and unchanging, finished work of Jesus Christ, making me, through faith, forever, an inheriting child of the High King and Creator of all the universe. That is huge.

What the heck does it matter if a cute boy thinks I'm pretty.

"Only God can judge me."

Cultural Jesus today is vastly different than Biblical Jesus.

The world remembers Jesus's love of the outcast but ignores His correction, His charge to the healed to "sin no more."

They remember "For God so loved the world," but ignore that "sending His only begotten Son" was necessary for that love to be salvific.

Our pride causes us to hate being corrected. Who do they think they are to tell me what to do? People appease themselves by saying "only God can judge me," but it is rare that they actually believe He will. If that were the case, they would welcome the correction of humans in light of the holiness and justice of God in His judgment and discipline.

Maybe this is the church's fault. We try so hard to play down the offense of the Gospel by quickly flying through the verses about "falling short" of His glory, being "children of wrath," and deserving His eternal punishment for our many crimes against our Creator. We skip right to the "good stuff," emphasizing His love, His interception of eternal death on our behalf so that we may, in turn, experience His life. And that is good stuff! But it cannot be fully realized if we do not feel the weight of His wrath, of our sinful natures and actions.

His wrath is also the "good stuff."

His justice and His righteousness and His faithfulness to His commands and holiness are very very good. (And what a relief it is to know that God is "not a man, that He should change His mind"!) Forgetting our problems and inability to please God, skipping right to "but don't worry, because He died for you," makes the Gospel man-centered. Skipping over the wrath is a disservice to those who may be called, regenerated, and justified by the Gospel.

Without a proper view of God's righteousness, it's easy to think Jesus died because of us, because God loved us too much to be separated from us. Sure, He does. But God also loves His Own glory. Making His enemies into His children, changing the sinful nature of their hearts into the perfect nature of His Son is glorious. This shift of focus from God to man causes all kinds of problems when  we interpret the Bible and apply it to our lives.

It's time to investigate if we love Jesus or we love how Jesus makes us feel about ourselves.

See, cultural Jesus accepts everyone, tolerates their behavior, and soothes them with words of affirmation that we wish to one day hear a significant other whisper over us as we fall asleep every night.

Cultural Jesus tells them he understands, he knows what it's like. Sin is hard to avoid and therefore you know, it's actually okay to keep sinning, maybe he was being a bit harsh.

Cultural Jesus looks exactly the way we want him to-- shaped according to our ideals, our morals, our hopes, our personalities, our sin. We form him in our image. We make sure his stances match up to our feelings. Cultural Jesus looks a lot like us, and we worship Him for it.

Biblical Jesus changes everything and everyone He comes in contact with. He doesn't look into our souls and tell us we're doing alright, just keep doin' you. He's not here to boost our self-esteem or status, but to give us a joy and confidence that stands unmoved forever outside of ourselves, dependent only on His unchangeable nature and power and kindness and victory, not on our successes and failures.

He is not one to give His approval to that which is shameful or harmful or impure. He is "the Way, the Truth, and the Life," and He brings us to the Father to be made new, refreshed by the beauty and closeness of fellowship with an entirely "other," supernatural Being.

Biblical Jesus has feelings, and He knows pain and distress and rejection. He is present and He is near to those who trust in Him. We get so offended when we think of His anger toward those who do not repent to trust in Him. We think that it's unfair. "Shouldn't a God of love, love everyone?," and "if He loves everyone, He couldn't condemn them to hell."

We see that lack of fellowship and dismiss Him as unjust, but He isn't the one rejecting the opportunity for salvation. He did His part, and it cost Him His life.

Biblical Jesus does love us in our sinful state, and He does take us as we are. He doesn't require us to make ourselves clean in order to come to Him.

Biblical Jesus also loves us enough to strengthen and lead us and to "work in us to will and to work according to His good pleasure." We feel the you is kinds, you is smarts, and you is importants of the world in our souls, but there is even greater encouragement in Christ. His intimate knowledge of you, of your individuality, your passions, your fears. And with the fullest possible knowledge of you, He intercedes, He repairs, He shapes.

What greater encouragement exists? He does not make you less you; He makes you more you than you ever knew you could be, because He's the One that designed you! What better freedom is there to be found in this world than to belong to and be skillfully developed by the One Who formed every part of your physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual being?

Biblical Jesus isn't just the Priest to sacrifice for us, He is the King and the Judge. He isn't just righteous, He is the Lawgiver and Executor. He is simultaneously requiring us to be and making us holy.

Believer, "you are not your own, for you were bought with a price." You cannot make yourself lost to the One Who purchased you. You are His. He will seek you when you stray, He will satisfy your deepest soul-longings when you stay. 

People accept cultural Jesus because He thinks they're great just the way they are.

Biblical Jesus accepts us because He died to make us acceptable. Literally died for us. Hello. 

One would allow you to live your life in a way he knows to be dangerous just because you enjoy it for now.
The Other was raised from the dead so we could walk in obedience, in that which is truly "life and breath and everything," "because you are precious in [His] eyes, and honored, and [He loves] you."

He has "set before you life and death, blessing and curse. Therefore choose life."

"Refresh my heart in Christ."

There is an important distinction between thinking critically and thinking cynically. 

As Christians, we are meant to think critically, holding what we hear up to what the Word of God says, to discern and uplift Truth. 

Always looking for the worst in people and expecting them to fail is not thinking critically. Incurable negativity toward our leaders and our friends isn't thinking critically. It's exhausting. It's cynicism.

Cynicism is not respecting those the Lord has set over us (1 Thessalonians 5:12-13). It is not gentle correction spoken in love and respect (1 Peter 3:15-16). It's bitterness, jealousy, and pride disguised as piety and wisdom. We serve ourselves and our egos, not each other. 

An attitude of cynicism is oppressive. It stifles growth and unity. It breeds division and anxious subversiveness. It is spread by gossip and slander and fed by our desire to impress those around us with "superior intellect". We adapt to that which we constantly hear if not consciously checking it against the Word.

Where is the encouragement? Where is the genuine interest? Where is the excitement about the work of the Lord?

Why don't we talk about what we are learning? Why are we afraid to talk about our struggles and our joys, about anything beyond the superficial? Why do we allow our relationship with God to be so private and so unchallenged and so unaffected by the wisdom and experience and kindness of those around us?

And why is there not more positivity and gladness? Why don't we encourage people and help them pursue the dreams God has given them-- or worse, why do we deem certain dreams "secular" when God commands all things to be done as for the Lord and not for man (Ephesians 6:7)? With this attitude and with Him as our motivation, nothing that leads us to God is secular for us but is "holy to the Lord" (Zechariah 14:20).

Why do we have to walk so much by sight and discourage people from following what they love and feel that God is leading them to do, in faith?

I feel like we're suffocating each other. We could be a refreshment to each other's spirits, a comfort to each other's hearts (Philemon 1:20). We could join each other in our struggles by praying to God for each other (Romans 15:30). We could bear one another's burdens (Galatians 6:2), not add our weak faith and grumblings to them.

But we can't do that without honest, painful, somewhat embarrassing conversation, without knowing each other more deeply and allowing others to get to know us. We cannot be afraid to ask difficult questions that bring up difficult emotions. We cannot stare at our phones and expect people to open up to us. We cannot ask people to open up to us, then abandon them when it isn't interesting anymore.

Let your words bring life (Proverbs 10:11), let them build up not tear down (Romans 15:2). Let us pursue what makes for peace and for mutual up-building (Romans 14:19). Rejoice in the Gospel together, be humbled with joy in Biblical correction.

Be motivated by Godly love, which is patient and kind; it does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud, and it is not rude. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres (1 Corinthians 13). It is by this type of love that the world will see Jesus (John 13:35).

Let us therefore follow the example of our perfect, brave, kind, holy, humble, self-sacrificing King.

"If there is any encouragement in Christ, any comfort from love, any participation in the Spirit, any affection and sympathy, complete my joy by being of the same mind, having the same love, being in full accord and of one mind. Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, who, though He was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but made Himself nothing, taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. And being found in human form, He humbled Himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross. Therefore God has highly exalted Him and bestowed on Him the Name that is above every name, so that at the Name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father" (Philippians 2).

That is fellowship. That is what makes a church the Church.

The Word of the Cross is Folly and Power.

The Lord has been teaching me about those who blatantly oppose Christianity, Who scoff at the very idea of God, calling Him a fairy tale for the ignorant.

Thankfully, He reminds me that I too once hated Him with all of my heart, soul, mind, and strength. That even now, after I've been given a new heart, I turn so often from Him, denying Him with my actions, words, and thoughts.

He reminds me that "no one can come to [Christ] unless the Father draws him" (John 6:44).

That latter reminder is twofold.

First, that I am saved by grace, through faith, not of myself so that I cannot boast (Ephesians 2).

Second, that they can be saved by grace, through faith, not of themselves and especially not through my words, so neither I nor they can boast.

I listen, wishing I knew a hundred things to say to prove 100% that God exists. That God saves. That He is coming again to judge the earth according to His commands. But I must remember, through all my studying, my "debating," that people are not saved by eloquent arguments.

I was so burdened yesterday and spent a most of my time at work pondering the best wording for various arguments. I'm sure someone out there has wonderful logic that can explain everything in extensive detail. I am thankful those people exist. I'm not that person. I lose my train of thought a few syllables in, and I can't think of the words I want to use, and my sentences are out of order.

I'm intimidated by the opposing arguments. They have all these catchy phrases and scientific facts and things that really do seem so convincing on the surface. But wit and eloquence don't make a person right; we cannot confuse these when trying to discern truth. A lie attractively spoken is still foolish.

I'm a sucker for arguments that show understanding of the topic and not just ad hominem. That's where a lot of Christians stand when it comes to "debates." They get this cynical, scoffing tone that comes across just as clearly over text as it does in person. At the same time, they don't make any real points and rarely address the topic at hand. Or they repeat the same sentence that they heard someone say once over and over again, showing no further thought about the subject.

They turn it to a personal attack. Why? So they can "win"? To what end?

Do we forget we are saved by grace through faith given to us by the Father? It is He Who awakens us and draws us to His Son. It was His Son Who lived perfectly and died for us and raised Himself to life, and He Who gave us the Holy Spirit to work in us to will and to act according to His good pleasure. 

It's frustrating that the loudest are not often the most understanding. I don't want to be there.  I want to answer for the hope that I have in Christ, with all gentleness and respect (1 Peter 3:15). I want to be able to speak the evidences for God that exist, because He does exist. 

Anyway, after much discouragement over my lack of eloquence, I sat down to read the next chapter of my read-through-the-Bible plan, the chapter I was supposed to read the day before but didn't.

1 Corinthians 1-2.

Guys... sovereignty.

It's exactly the answer to my thoughts and prayers of that day.

"For Christ did not send me to baptize but to preach the Gospel, and not with words of eloquent wisdom, lest the cross of Christ be emptied of its power.

For the word of the cross is folly to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God. For it is written, 'I will destroy the wisdom of the wise, and the discernment of the discerning I will thwart.'

Where is the one who is wise? Where is the scribe? Where is the debater of this age? Has not God made foolish the wisdom of the world? For since, in the wisdom of God, the world did not know God through wisdom, it pleased God through the folly of what we preach to save those who believe. For Jews demand signs and Greeks seek wisdom, but we preach Christ crucified, a stumbling block to Jews and folly to Gentiles, but to those who are called, both Jews and Greeks, Christ the power of God and the wisdom of God. For the foolishness of God is wiser than men, and the weakness of God is stronger than men.

For consider your calling, brothers: not many of you were wise according to worldly standards, not many were powerful, not many were of noble birth. But God chose what is foolish in the world to shame the wise; God chose what is weak in the world to shame the strong; God chose what is low and despised in the world, even things that are not, to bring to nothing things that are, so that no human being might boast in the presence of God. And because of Him you are in Christ Jesus, Who became to us wisdom from God, righteousness and sanctification and redemption, so that, as it is written, 'Let the one who boasts, boast in the Lord.'

And I, when I came to you, brothers, did not come proclaiming to you the testimony of God with lofty speech or wisdom. For I decided to know nothing among you except Jesus Christ and him crucified. And I was with you in weakness and in fear and much trembling, and my speech and my message were not in plausible words of wisdom, but in demonstration of the Spirit and of power, that your faith might not rest in the wisdom of men but in the power of God.

Yet among the mature we do impart wisdom, although it is not a wisdom of this age or of the rulers of this age, who are doomed to pass away."

Please, seek knowledge; study arguments for and against Christianity. Do it in a manner worthy of the Gospel.

But do not "worry about what to say or how to say it, for in that time it will not be you speaking but the Holy Spirit speaking through you" (Matthew 10:20). His are the words that need to be heard; Christ is the message that saves; His is the wisdom irrefutable (Acts 6:10).

“Suppose a number of persons were to take it into their heads that they had to defend a lion... Well, I should suggest to them, if they would not object, and feel that it was humbling to them, that they should kindly stand back, and open the door, and let the lion out! I believe that would be the best way of defending him, for he would take care of himself; and the best 'apology' for the gospel is to let the gospel out.” - Charles Spurgeon

Thinking you need eloquent arguments to convince people to follow Him "empties the cross of its power," and betrays your subconscious belief that the Gospel is not powerful enough on Its own to save.

But It is. 

The truth is enough on its own. What an honor it is to speak it.

3 Things to Remember When You Don't Feel Like Being Single Anymore

"The unmarried or betrothed woman is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to be holy in body and spirit. But the married woman is anxious about worldly things, how to please her husband. I say this for your own benefit, not to lay any restraint upon you, but to promote good order and to secure your undivided devotion to the Lord" (1 Corinthians 7:33-35).

I've been very convicted about my attention and mindset recently. And by recently, I mean like the past year. But alas, here I am, still struggling against the same sins.

There are so many assumptions in the Bible that I fail to match up to. Paul here assumes that the unmarried woman is anxious about the Lord with undivided devotion to Him. How is it, then, that when I'm not intentionally thinking about the Lord, I don't think about the Lord? It actually takes a good bit of effort for me to concentrate my mind on things above, but it is commanded. The Psalms are filled with verses about thinking of the Lord day and night. About delighting in thoughts of Him.

Here's where my idolatry and pride come in:

Instead of constantly being "anxious about things of the Lord", namely "how to be holy in body and spirit," I feel anxious about my future. Why? When has anything I planned ever come out exactly the way I imagined? I look back at the wonderful, gracious sovereignty of the Lord over my past and am filled with gratitude. Looking forward, that gratitude dims. I feel as though I will fail. Everything will fail. And that I just want to go Home because trusting Him on earth is really hard.

As if trusting in myself were easier, less stressful. 

It is a great and glorious thing to trust in the Lord! There is freedom and peace; indeed, "in His presence there is fullness of joy" (Psalm 16:11).

I think to myself that my life would just make a lot more sense if I were married. I have this desire to serve a husband, to honor and respect him, to be loved by him for Jesus's Name's sake (Ephesians 5:25, 33). And those are good things, Biblical things. But if they are not in the will of the Lord for me now, no matter how badly I desire them or even how good those activities are, they would not be in my best interest. So, because the "Lord works out all things for my good", if something I want isn't happening: praise the Lord! I can trust that whatever He does bring about will be far better (Romans 8:28)!

But it's difficult to walk step by step in that truth. It's hard not to wander, to doubt. Certainly that is the plan of the enemy and has been since he stirred up doubt in Eve regarding the goodness of the commands and providence of the Lord while in the Garden of Eden. 

So how do we fight against him?

1. Remember that "if you do not stand firm in faith, you will not stand at all" (Isaiah 7:9). Christian, know that "it is God Who works in you, both to will and to work for His good pleasure" (Philippians 2:13). No matter how badly we want to be holy, God wants that for us even more, and He is sustaining us throughout our lifelong fight of "conformation into the image of the Son" (2 Corinthians 3:18). Though we do not have the ability to please Him on our own, He gives us strength as we put in the effort to train ourselves to be faithful in prayer and to His Word. 

We need constantly to direct our thoughts toward Him and to take each of them captive to make them obedient to Him (2 Corinthians 10:5). When we stop feeding ourselves Truth, it gets progressively more difficult to discern it from lies. We start reverting to our former ways in the world instead of "being transformed by the renewal of [our] minds" because that renewal is not a one-time thing; it is a daily effort (Romans 12:2). To daily fill our minds with the Word so we can hold what we see and hear up to what the Lord has spoken.

In addition to prayer and the Bible, God has also given us His Holy Spirit, Who will "teach [us] all things and bring to [our] remembrance all that [Christ] has said" and Who convicts us when we stray (John 14:26). For we are "His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that [we] should walk in them" (Ephesians 2:10).

2. "Take up the whole armor of God, that we may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand firm. Stand therefore, having fastened on the belt of truth, and having put on the breastplate of righteousness, and, as shoes for your feet, having put on the readiness given by the Gospel of peace. In all circumstances take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming darts of the evil one; and take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God, praying at all times in the Spirit, with all prayer and supplication. To that end keep alert with all perseverance, making supplication for all the saints, and also for me, that words may be given to me in opening my mouth boldly to proclaim the mystery of the gospel, for which I am an ambassador in chains, that I may declare it boldly, as I ought to speak" (Ephesians 6).

We must be clothed with truth, righteousness, and the Gospel. Protect ourselves with faith. Have the mind of Christ. Be armed with the Word of God. And do all these things while being "constant in prayer,"-- not prayer for ourselves only but for all the saints who are battling alongside us, protecting them also as we see danger coming toward them, working with one purpose as Christ has made us one in His salvation.

3. Talk about your current opportunities. "Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the Name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you." And the best part: "Behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age" (Matthew 28:19). By wrapping the command up with the promise of His presence, He reminds us that we need Him in order to accomplish the things He desires for us to do. That power will include giving you the grace to stand up against the lust and loneliness that often come with being single. 

Instead of spending so much time talking about your desire to be in a romantic relationship, focus on the relationships God does have you in today-- family, friends, coworkers, classmates, mentors and mentees. Focus your conversations on things you can be doing now, not only on your hopes for tomorrow. Find ways to serve others, being generous with your attention, your money, and your time. That is how to be anxious about the things of the Lord.

Doing all these things with "undivided devotion" is a long process that requires a lot of effort. And I have a lot more effort to go. But it is the Lord working in me to want it, and He will not relent. 

"Now may the God of peace Who brought again from the dead our Lord Jesus, the great Shepherd of the sheep, by the blood of the eternal covenant, equip you with everything good that you may do His will, working in us that which is pleasing in His sight, through Jesus Christ, to Whom be glory forever and ever." (Hebrews 13:20)

"To Him Who is able to keep you from stumbling and to present you blameless before the presence of His glory with great joy, to the only God, our Savior, through Jesus Christ our Lord, be glory, majesty, dominion, and authority, before all time and now and forever. Amen." (Jude 1:24)