"Let love be genuine." Part 2.

Part 1 of "Let love be genuine."

There's only so many ways you can say the same thing, hoping for change. There's only so much you can do to breed unity and brotherly affection amongst the Body of Christ. There's only so much one-sided effort you can put in to your friendships before you can say your options are exhausted. 

But have we really given to the fullest extent?

We often fool ourselves into thinking we've done much more than we have. Thoughts are not actions. Complaints are not changes. Hearing the Word and agreeing with it does not make you obedient to it. 

But, I am often stuck there. I am of those about whom God said, "These people honor Me with their lips, but their hearts are far from Me" (Isaiah 29:13). But, "dear children, let us not love in word or talk, but in deed and in truth" (1 John 3:18).

I've been singing songs about the world knowing us by our love since preschool. In high school, the Lord directed me to Romans 15:4-6 to convict me of personal and corporate sin and to encourage change. But I'm not sure I fully understood the importance of unity and the purpose of the love that comes from knowing God.

Our world today is obsessed with "love." From the overtly sensual, self-seeking to the more charitable views, love has become ubiquitous in American society. 

But what is the difference in Christian love that is to cause that society to look at the Church and say, "Look how they love one another" (Tertullian). Or rather, what is supposed to be the difference? What type of love did Christ command when He said all men would recognize His disciples by it?

1 John 4 tells us that the love we are to show one another is the love God showed for us in sending His Son, Who was willingly sent to die on the cross to atone for someone else's sins against His Father, our Judge. 

John continues to say what the commanded love is not: "that we loved Him." How is this so? Why is the love with which we love God not sufficient? Because that love is dependent on His first loving us. This harps on Christ's former command to "love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you." Our love for God is not the commanded love because it begins and ends with the actions of another (and because it has a beginning and an ending at all). It is conditional. "We love because He first loved us." 

How, then, does this differ from the world's love? "If you love those who love you, what reward do you have? And if you greet only your brothers, what more are you doing than others? Do not even [unbelievers] do the same?" (Matthew 5:43-48).

No, God's love is one that contradicts everything we are told to stand for today-- defiant independence, tending to our needs first, insisting people earn our respect. This seems to be hardwired into us, really. We love those who love us and hate those who hate us. But the command is to love those who hate us, even those who actively seek our hurt and ruin, because that is what God did with us, that is Who "God is" (1 John 4:8). 

Unfortunately for us, this, like all the other commands in the Bible, is inherently impossible. We do not have the ability to carry it out. We may have times of compliance, but it is not possible to "be perfect as your Heavenly Father is perfect." Perfect denotes an absolute; the complete fulfillment of a command is the eternal obedience to it. Yet "those who are in the flesh cannot please God" (Romans 8:8).

That's where this commanded love steps in: from God in Christ Jesus, Who was sent to save us from our "filthy rags," to raise us from death and slavery to sin, and to guide us by the Holy Spirit, Who will "equip [us] with everything good, that [we] may do His will, working in [us] that which is pleasing in His sight" (Hebrews 13:21). Only "by grace, through faith" (Ephesians 2:8) in Christ's obedience on our behalf can we ourselves be made like Him.

So back to the original question: In what manner is the love that believers are to show one another so different from the love in the world, that they would see us and know we've experienced something of another spiritual realm?

1. Difference of focus. Our minds must be set steadily on this one reality: "while we were still sinners, Christ died for us" (Romans 5:8). Believer, you were an enemy of God when He looked upon you, opened your eyes, unstopped your ears, and gave you understanding and life through His Son. God poured out grace upon those who reviled Him with everything they did. That is the love we are told to model, and we can only do it by constantly reminding ourselves to seek the strength of the One Whose love is never exhausted.

2. Difference of effort. People are often looked up to today when they use their excess for the betterment of others. But God commands more. Those commended by the Lord Jesus were not those who "contributed out of their abundance", but the widow who "put in everything she had, all she had to live on" (Mark 12:44). We cannot give up when we realize we have to make sacrifices. We must be willing to fulfill needs even if it costs us more time, effort, and resources than we think we can spare. Sometimes what is needed is a painful yet cathartic conversation with someone genuinely listening, praying. We must be willing to "pour ourselves out" (Isaiah 58), "seeking first His Kingdom and righteousness," trusting that "our Heavenly Father knows what we need" (Matthew 6:33), and that "He cares for you" (1 Peter 5:7). "You were wearied with the length of your way, but you did not say, 'It is hopeless'; you found new life for your strength" in the cry of the Christ from the cross: "It is finished" (Isaiah 57:10; John 19:30). 

3. Difference in goals. "Let no one seek his own good, but the good of his neighbor" "for his good, to build him up", "so that they may be saved" (1 Corinthians 10:24; Romans 15:2; 1 Corinthians 10:33). Our goal is not the warm feeling we get when someone thanks us or when we see them rejoicing. Our goal is not to make others happy or comfortable. Our goal is not to flatter, to speak comforting words at the expense of acknowledgement and repentance of sin. Our goal is not to "restore people’s hope in mankind." There is one Hope, and it is not us, and it is not our charity. Our goal is to be obedient and then be forgotten-- to "grow strangely dim in the light of His glory and grace."

The actions of both worldly and Godly love often look similar: the feeding of the hungry, the fight for justice, the caring for orphans. So what is the difference? It is simple and yet unthinkable. The difference is forgiving as we've been forgiven: completely, restoratively, eternally. The difference is putting others before ourselves (Romans 12:10), treating others as we want to be treated (Matthew 7:12) regardless of how they treat us. 

Truly the difference is God Himself. Let "all your ways acknowledge Him" (Proverbs 3:6).

"Let love be genuine." Part 1.

This weekend I facilitated a church event with the 9th grade group of girls I teach on Sundays. I am so thankful for them and for what God has shown them and their willingness to share those things with and encourage each other.

I've been attending/participating in these weekend events since 2005, as a student and, for the past two years, as a leader. It's incredible to be able to serve the ministry that fostered my walk with the Lord so much throughout my teenage years. Unfortunately, as I am a sinful person, a lot of those weekends were riddled with distractions allowed in by my own selfish ambition and discontentment. But one year in particular sticks out in my mind.

One of my last years going as a student I was split from most of my closest friends. At first, I didn't "do everything without complaining or grumbling," but as the weekend went on, I became increasingly thankful for the surpassing wisdom of the Lord. Everyone was so encouraging. We didn't hold back the genuine compliments regarding not only appearance but character, knowing we all need affirmation every once in a while (and, bonus, if it comes from our friends and family, we don't just fall in love with everyone who says something moderately nice to us). People weren't left out, laying all by themselves while everyone else talked about insignificant things instead of falling asleep (ahh sleepovers). It was just a very positive time, and I was thankful for my placement there.

All this to say, the girls in my group this year reminded me of that year.

It was a little awkward the first night, as it always is, not having yet set the tone for the weekend's conversations, not wanting to be the first to say something a little more serious. But it was the conversation that took place on our last night that blessed and convicted me.

"My friend said she never wanted to come back to Bell Shoals again, because no one here cares about her, and everyone judges her."

We all sat for a few seconds processing what one of the girls had just shared. Less than an hour earlier, we'd listened to a sermon about being the church, about letting the Gospel effect our lives. There we were, with our failure to do so staring us in the face.

Being hearers only, not also doers.

Conviction in the room was evident as we talked about our desires to know and be known better. To truly love each other and accept people as Christ accepts them, because He was willing to accept even us. To remember to speak with grace and truth to each other.

The word we kept using was honesty. About our struggles, our sins, our thoughts, our joys. About the unconditional love we need in order to receive the honesty of others with humility and grace. About our inability to do so without the Holy Spirit and His Word.

Their desire to honor the Lord in their relationships was clear through our conversation and tears that night. But it was much more evident later when the whole department met up at a bonfire.

I saw the Lord convict them in a way that brought about change, as they put their words into action. Even now as I think about it, I am convicted anew that so many years of Straight Up Weekend came and went, and my condescending thoughts kept me from being truly affected because "that's sooo lame and I shouldn't need big events in order for God to speak to me."

I still think like this at times.

I almost limit my reactions and the timing of my obedience because I think that it's too typical for Him to speak at a conference or church event. Um? How much FOLLY can I pack into my mind at one time? The Lord is perfect. And events are planned with prayer and the hope of stirring up change. Yes, I should be walking in consistent repentance. True, it shouldn't take an event to cause me to think of the Lord and be convicted of sin. But being ashamed if I learn something life-changing through a church event is crazy.

Anyway, these girls showed me that no matter the timing of the conviction, it is the Lord's power and plan, and He is perfect.

They helped me to see that the church's desire to have genuine love and relationships isn't just something we throw around as a theory; it is an urgent matter of praxis. To truly care about people and be kind to people and speak truthfully to each other, even if it means taking the first step and feeling silly and vulnerable in front of someone.

I-- and I think this is common to the church-- need to remember that the Lord's opinion of me does not change with the opinions of others. And that the Lord comforts me so that I can comfort others (2 Corinthians 1:3-7). And He reveals Himself to me daily in order to bring Himself glory in my mind, but also in the minds of others as I "praise Him in the congregation." And that our trying to appear perfect, to other believers and unbelievers alike, takes praise away from the Lord. Hiding our struggles removes the chance to bear witness that even in the pain and difficulty of life, He is enough, He is joy and hope and peace, and, above all things, He is worthy of praise and honor and glory and of our willing obedience.

"For by the grace given to me I say to everyone among you not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think, but to think with sober judgment, each according to the measure of faith that God has assigned. For as in one body we have many members, and the members do not all have the same function, so we, though many, are one body in Christ, and individually members one of another. Having gifts that differ according to the grace given to us, let us use them...Let love be genuine. Abhor what is evil; hold fast to what is good. Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor."

Part 2 of "Let love be genuine."

Forgetting to "Receive the Message With Great Eagerness"

A few weeks ago, I returned home from the Passion Conference I attended with the college ministry from my church. One thing I love about our group is our desire to hear and speak/sing truth. But one thing I've grown accustomed to-- one thing I dislike in myself and in our conversations-- is that search for truth ending in cynicism and grumbling. So often we hear one poor word choice and immediately hate an entire song. Or the pastor says one semi-ambiguous phrase so we assume his theologically-solid points to be a fluke and he a heretic. We're very extreme in our complaints. Sometimes, yes, in jest. But the type of jokes we look for trains our minds how to think and can affect us seriously.

As Christians, we need to "examine the Scriptures every day to see if what [our leaders] said was true" (Acts 17:11), but I think we've trained ourselves to focus so much on their saying something incorrectly or insufficiently that we've neglected our training to "receive the message with great eagerness."

Let's talk about worship songs for a second. It is crucial that our songs reflect truth and exalt Christ. I think they should be focused on the Lord and not on us. They should be saturated with the Gospel and the characteristics of God and His promises.

And I'm not saying we should mindlessly sing songs we don't understand because the sound pretty, or unthinkingly sing promises that we cannot keep even if we desire to ("I will always..." lines for example). 

The trouble starts when we're focused on word choices rather than the expressed truth.

"There must be factions among you, so that those who are genuine among you may be recognized", but "what causes quarrels and what causes fights among you? Is it not this, that your passions are at war within you?" (1 Corinthians 11:19; James 4:1)

We are acting in a manner common with the world when our pride causes us to harp on the weakness of others. Instead of thanking God for the grace that has sanctified us, we look condescendingly on those who, though seeking with a pure heart, may be mistaken on some points, as if we've always been right about everything.

Instead, "welcome one another as Christ has welcomed you, for the glory of God" (Romans 15).

"So if there is any encouragement in Christ, any comfort from love, any participation in the Spirit, any affection and sympathy, complete my joy by being of the same mind, having the same love, being in full accord ('closely united in soul') and of one mind ('opinion fleshing itself out in action')."

"Finally, all of you, have unity of mind, sympathy, brotherly love, a tender heart, and a humble mind... In your hearts, honor Christ as holy, always being prepared to make a defense to anyone who asks you for a reason for the hope that is in you; yet do it with all gentleness and respect" (Philippians 2; 1 Peter 3).

Our theology is unimpressive and unimportant so long as it leads us into pride and hardheartedness. It is the beliefs that make us increasingly grateful and gracious that give our faith any value.