"Let love be genuine." Part 1.

This weekend I facilitated a church event with the 9th grade group of girls I teach on Sundays. I am so thankful for them and for what God has shown them and their willingness to share those things with and encourage each other.

I've been attending/participating in these weekend events since 2005, as a student and, for the past two years, as a leader. It's incredible to be able to serve the ministry that fostered my walk with the Lord so much throughout my teenage years. Unfortunately, as I am a sinful person, a lot of those weekends were riddled with distractions allowed in by my own selfish ambition and discontentment. But one year in particular sticks out in my mind.

One of my last years going as a student I was split from most of my closest friends. At first, I didn't "do everything without complaining or grumbling," but as the weekend went on, I became increasingly thankful for the surpassing wisdom of the Lord. Everyone was so encouraging. We didn't hold back the genuine compliments regarding not only appearance but character, knowing we all need affirmation every once in a while (and, bonus, if it comes from our friends and family, we don't just fall in love with everyone who says something moderately nice to us). People weren't left out, laying all by themselves while everyone else talked about insignificant things instead of falling asleep (ahh sleepovers). It was just a very positive time, and I was thankful for my placement there.

All this to say, the girls in my group this year reminded me of that year.

It was a little awkward the first night, as it always is, not having yet set the tone for the weekend's conversations, not wanting to be the first to say something a little more serious. But it was the conversation that took place on our last night that blessed and convicted me.

"My friend said she never wanted to come back to Bell Shoals again, because no one here cares about her, and everyone judges her."

We all sat for a few seconds processing what one of the girls had just shared. Less than an hour earlier, we'd listened to a sermon about being the church, about letting the Gospel effect our lives. There we were, with our failure to do so staring us in the face.

Being hearers only, not also doers.

Conviction in the room was evident as we talked about our desires to know and be known better. To truly love each other and accept people as Christ accepts them, because He was willing to accept even us. To remember to speak with grace and truth to each other.

The word we kept using was honesty. About our struggles, our sins, our thoughts, our joys. About the unconditional love we need in order to receive the honesty of others with humility and grace. About our inability to do so without the Holy Spirit and His Word.

Their desire to honor the Lord in their relationships was clear through our conversation and tears that night. But it was much more evident later when the whole department met up at a bonfire.

I saw the Lord convict them in a way that brought about change, as they put their words into action. Even now as I think about it, I am convicted anew that so many years of Straight Up Weekend came and went, and my condescending thoughts kept me from being truly affected because "that's sooo lame and I shouldn't need big events in order for God to speak to me."

I still think like this at times.

I almost limit my reactions and the timing of my obedience because I think that it's too typical for Him to speak at a conference or church event. Um? How much FOLLY can I pack into my mind at one time? The Lord is perfect. And events are planned with prayer and the hope of stirring up change. Yes, I should be walking in consistent repentance. True, it shouldn't take an event to cause me to think of the Lord and be convicted of sin. But being ashamed if I learn something life-changing through a church event is crazy.

Anyway, these girls showed me that no matter the timing of the conviction, it is the Lord's power and plan, and He is perfect.

They helped me to see that the church's desire to have genuine love and relationships isn't just something we throw around as a theory; it is an urgent matter of praxis. To truly care about people and be kind to people and speak truthfully to each other, even if it means taking the first step and feeling silly and vulnerable in front of someone.

I-- and I think this is common to the church-- need to remember that the Lord's opinion of me does not change with the opinions of others. And that the Lord comforts me so that I can comfort others (2 Corinthians 1:3-7). And He reveals Himself to me daily in order to bring Himself glory in my mind, but also in the minds of others as I "praise Him in the congregation." And that our trying to appear perfect, to other believers and unbelievers alike, takes praise away from the Lord. Hiding our struggles removes the chance to bear witness that even in the pain and difficulty of life, He is enough, He is joy and hope and peace, and, above all things, He is worthy of praise and honor and glory and of our willing obedience.

"For by the grace given to me I say to everyone among you not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think, but to think with sober judgment, each according to the measure of faith that God has assigned. For as in one body we have many members, and the members do not all have the same function, so we, though many, are one body in Christ, and individually members one of another. Having gifts that differ according to the grace given to us, let us use them...Let love be genuine. Abhor what is evil; hold fast to what is good. Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor."

Part 2 of "Let love be genuine."