"When we pray to be sanctified, are we prepared to face the standard of these verses? We take the term sanctification much too lightly. Are we prepared for what sanctification will cost? It will cost an intense narrowing of all our interests on earth, and an immense broadening of our interests in God. Sanctification means intense concentration on God's point of view. It means every power of body, soul and spirit chained and kept for God's purpose only. Are we prepared for God to do in us all that He separated us for?... Sanctification means being made one with Jesus so that the disposition that ruled Him will rule us. Are we prepared for what that will cost? It will cost everything that is not of God in us." -Oswald Chambers.
It’s hard for me to believe it’s been a year since my brother-in-law went home to be with the Lord. I’ve seen such beauty in the grace and goodness and providence of the Lord. Jesus has proven Himself to be the joy and stronghold in the stormy night for me, my sister, and our families. The storm has rained down grief and sorrow, but it has only served to water the ground of grace, founded in the Gospel of Christ, bringing forth praise!
It's been a difficult path, one that we hadn’t intended to walk, but God, in His infinite wisdom, led us on that way. I am thankful for His grace that kept my feet upon His narrow path, and I am thankful, in Him, for the path itself. It took time for me to be able to say, by grace, that because of the sovereignty and kindness of God, I am thankful for the life and timing of the death of Jacob.
Charles Spurgeon has said, “There is an essential difference between the decease of the Godly and the death of the unGodly. Death comes to the unGodly man as a penal infliction, but to the righteous as a summons to his Father's palace. To the sinner it is an execution, to the saint an undressing from his sins and infirmities. Death to the wicked is the King of terrors. Death to the saint is the end of terrors, the commencement of glory.”
So, for my brother, I rejoice. And I rejoice, too, at the promise in Christ that I will one day join him. What grace! And what grace it is to be able to see in a heavenly perspective the death of those who “fall asleep in Jesus” to soon be “raised imperishable...in glory...in power” (1 Thessalonians 4:14; 1 Corinthians 15).
It's been a difficult path, one that we hadn’t intended to walk, but God, in His infinite wisdom, led us on that way. I am thankful for His grace that kept my feet upon His narrow path, and I am thankful, in Him, for the path itself. It took time for me to be able to say, by grace, that because of the sovereignty and kindness of God, I am thankful for the life and timing of the death of Jacob.
Charles Spurgeon has said, “There is an essential difference between the decease of the Godly and the death of the unGodly. Death comes to the unGodly man as a penal infliction, but to the righteous as a summons to his Father's palace. To the sinner it is an execution, to the saint an undressing from his sins and infirmities. Death to the wicked is the King of terrors. Death to the saint is the end of terrors, the commencement of glory.”
So, for my brother, I rejoice. And I rejoice, too, at the promise in Christ that I will one day join him. What grace! And what grace it is to be able to see in a heavenly perspective the death of those who “fall asleep in Jesus” to soon be “raised imperishable...in glory...in power” (1 Thessalonians 4:14; 1 Corinthians 15).
I think of Jake every day. I am reminded of him-- his mannerisms, his laugh, his list of things to tell me on Wednesday nights. His honesty and care were something I happily experienced much of, and it was one of the first things I missed about him after he went Home. I miss him. I couldn’t have asked for a better brother-in-law.
He was an answer to so many of my parents' prayers, an answer that went above and beyond their hopes for their oldest daughter. From observation, he was an excellent husband. His leadership and love for my sister shaped my ideas of Biblical marriage in a very beautiful way. His pursuit of Diana, her joyful submission to him as he submitted himself to God all graciously portrayed the Gospel. As a fellow believer and as a sister, I appreciated it more than I knew.
My parents eagerly adopted him into our family, treating him as their own son. I quickly adopted the idea of him as my brother. For five years, I watched Jake become a part of my family, and for the past year I’ve seen his death affect each of us in a different, but equally beautiful way. Both periods of time were designed by God to accomplish His good and kind-- even when painful-- purposes, which are common to all “who love Him” (Romans 8:28). I've come to see that God has a wide range of comforts that He lavishly gives as we come to rest in Him.
He was an answer to so many of my parents' prayers, an answer that went above and beyond their hopes for their oldest daughter. From observation, he was an excellent husband. His leadership and love for my sister shaped my ideas of Biblical marriage in a very beautiful way. His pursuit of Diana, her joyful submission to him as he submitted himself to God all graciously portrayed the Gospel. As a fellow believer and as a sister, I appreciated it more than I knew.
My parents eagerly adopted him into our family, treating him as their own son. I quickly adopted the idea of him as my brother. For five years, I watched Jake become a part of my family, and for the past year I’ve seen his death affect each of us in a different, but equally beautiful way. Both periods of time were designed by God to accomplish His good and kind-- even when painful-- purposes, which are common to all “who love Him” (Romans 8:28). I've come to see that God has a wide range of comforts that He lavishly gives as we come to rest in Him.
There are expectations placed on us as we grieve. It can be difficult to separate what people say we should be feeling or doing from how we really are. It can make it even more difficult to, by grace, “not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God” and remain daily in the Word, speaking Its truth to my heart and “taking captive each thought to make it obedient to Him” (Philippians 4:13; 2 Corinthians 10:5). To allow God to take care of what my feelings accomplish.
Shortly after his death, I wrote these words:
“I pray that we all would rejoice in the will of God, praise the Name of God, and trust in the perfect character of God. His plans have been firmly established since the beginning of time and there is nothing that can happen apart from Him. And He is GOOD all the time; all the time, He is good!...There hasn't been an hour gone by that I haven't thought of him, yearned with great pain to talk to him again. I hurt. A pain so deep and severe that I've never known before. Please, God, sustain me! Where is my hope in this grieving? Am I grieving as the world does? Were my love true and real, for God and for Jacob, wouldn't I be rejoicing for his current and now eternal state? May I never forget Your goodness and worth! There is much pain in the night, but joy comes in the Lord! So as my tears continue to flow, may I never forget the blood that flowed out of much deeper pain, but equal sovereignty-- this blood that redeemed my life, that bought Jake an innocent verdict and a warm welcome as He stood before our Creator and Judge.
What a comfort to know that the Lord has as much wisdom and care in the plans for each part of our lives as He did in planning His eternal redemption through His Son! May I continue to grow in the values and characteristics Jake complimented (or corrected) in me as he applied Your Word to the world around him. May Your Word be my guide, the lens I see through. For there is nothing else of worth and no higher calling than to be called and made a child of the Most High God. May these tears lead only to Your Throne and to Your feet in service. May I not neglect the pain of others in the anguish of my heart. And though he is currently the most commonly occurring thought and the most desired friend, may he not become to me more precious than You. Please keep me from earthly thoughts, from such lowly expectations and imaginings of Your Kingdom. Though You crush me, yet will I praise You (Job 13:15). Praise the sovereign, wise, matchless, worthy, loving Father, Son, and Holy Spirit! Maranatha (Lord, come quickly)!”
Now, a year later, I read these words and I feel that pain, but I feel also the sweetness so intricately intertwined within it.
I can look back and see the purposes of the Lord in Jake’s death. Not all, but some-- as many as He's allowed me to see. I sense the presence of the Lord hovering over this past year, intimately tending to each hurt and question of my heart. I saw Him do the same for so many others.
God often seemed quiet, even distant at times But through that I came to know even more assuredly that His promises are not based upon my thoughts or circumstances, but on His unchanging, always faithful and true nature; that His words and commands, as written in His Word, are “holy and righteous and good” (Romans 7:12); that every pain and every joy in His will are “good, pleasing, and perfect” because, though it may be difficult at times to see, “in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose” (Romans 12:2; Romans 8:28).
Truly He works for our good and joy as He seeks His own glory! His exaltation is our highest joy. And God is so greatly exalted when the saints rejoice in suffering. It is this walking “by faith and not by sight," this heavenly mindset that says “this world is not my home” and “this earth has nothing I desire besides You” that lifts our eyes-- and the eyes of the world watching us-- up to the Lord, Who reigns sovereign, His worth steady and high above our circumstances (2 Corinthians 5:7; Hebrews 13:14, NLT; Psalm 73:25).
I can look back and see the purposes of the Lord in Jake’s death. Not all, but some-- as many as He's allowed me to see. I sense the presence of the Lord hovering over this past year, intimately tending to each hurt and question of my heart. I saw Him do the same for so many others.
God often seemed quiet, even distant at times But through that I came to know even more assuredly that His promises are not based upon my thoughts or circumstances, but on His unchanging, always faithful and true nature; that His words and commands, as written in His Word, are “holy and righteous and good” (Romans 7:12); that every pain and every joy in His will are “good, pleasing, and perfect” because, though it may be difficult at times to see, “in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose” (Romans 12:2; Romans 8:28).
Truly He works for our good and joy as He seeks His own glory! His exaltation is our highest joy. And God is so greatly exalted when the saints rejoice in suffering. It is this walking “by faith and not by sight," this heavenly mindset that says “this world is not my home” and “this earth has nothing I desire besides You” that lifts our eyes-- and the eyes of the world watching us-- up to the Lord, Who reigns sovereign, His worth steady and high above our circumstances (2 Corinthians 5:7; Hebrews 13:14, NLT; Psalm 73:25).
As we made our way to Gainesville to meet my sister and his family, the Lord brought me to Psalm 97-103, particularly the words “Rejoice in the Lord, O you righteous, and give thanks to His holy Name... know that the Lord, He is God! It is He Who made us, and we are His." And this is great cause to rejoice in Him!
We are His; we belong to Him. He commands our steps, our first and final breaths. And when one of those whom He has claimed as His own is taken to His side, we cannot think we have been robbed, that perhaps that particular saint was ours first and the Lord’s second. In fact, it is the very opposite which causes us to see death in a clearer, brighter lens: We belong first to the Lord, and whatever He does, He does because “as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are [His] ways higher than our ways and [His] thoughts than our thoughts” (Isaiah 55:8-9), because He is so much wiser and more wonderful than we are, and because His plans are filled to the brim with His grace and kindness and goodness.
We are His; we belong to Him. He commands our steps, our first and final breaths. And when one of those whom He has claimed as His own is taken to His side, we cannot think we have been robbed, that perhaps that particular saint was ours first and the Lord’s second. In fact, it is the very opposite which causes us to see death in a clearer, brighter lens: We belong first to the Lord, and whatever He does, He does because “as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are [His] ways higher than our ways and [His] thoughts than our thoughts” (Isaiah 55:8-9), because He is so much wiser and more wonderful than we are, and because His plans are filled to the brim with His grace and kindness and goodness.
So we must breathe in and out the words of 1 Samuel 3:18: “He is the Lord, let Him do what is good in His eyes,” His loving, perfect, all-seeing eyes.
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