Wednesday, September 5, 2018

A Thankful Birthday

Today I'm 27 years old and honestly that blows. my. mind.

Thinking back over the time I've had so far, there are so many things to be thankful for. 

Like living my first seven years by the beach and my time being filled with love and learning and animals and friends and fun.

Or like moving to Tampa, when I was terrified to start over but ended up finding a church and a school that helped me see the world through Biblical, compassionate eyes. And cheerleading, which brought a lot of discipline and determination into my life.

Like high school. I liked my school and my friends, but I especially liked getting to graduate a semester early. I learned a lot about people and about how God loves and meets anyone where they are.

Like waiting a lot of years to go to college because I didn't know what I wanted to do and I didn't think I should waste time and money to figure it out. So I worked a little, got fat a little, and hung out with friends a lot. Then I went to Israel for 6 weeks and I learned a lot about myself and how God would love and meet me in my most painful moments, when I felt alone and full of grief. During that time, He showed me strength and peace that not only kept me going, but shaped me into a better, kinder, wiser person. 

Or that I did finally go to college. That I got my finance degree and didn't give up even when all my core classes were smushed into 3 semesters and it was this frustrating, overwhelming, seemingly endless task. I'm also thankful it's done... haha. 

And that during that last semester, I finally gave in to my lifelong dreams and took an acting class. That I was terrible but I kept getting up. That when that one finished, I signed up for one that honestly taught me how to be me, to reflect on my past and face my future, and, an even greater challenge-- letting people in to the emotions that stirs up. 

And now here I am. In Atlanta, pursuing film, working at a finance office. Thankful thankful thankful. 

But all this is nothing without the people around me. And today I'm especially thankful for those closest to me and those with me from the beginning. 

I have parents that enjoyed spending time with my sister and I. That taught us how to explore and find wonder in the world around us. That taught us to love and be loved and to work hard and to put others before ourselves with joy. 

I have a built-in best friend that made growing up fun, who taught me how to be a good friend. That showed me how to give of myself without losing myself, and now shows me how to lead and love those God places in my path. Now I get to see her be a wife to a great encourager and a mom to the two cutest little loves, and the friendships and the family grows. 

And now I have a fiancĂ© who, though he just came into the picture late 2016, has been a constant source of encouragement and love, a confidant that immediately felt lifelong, that made me understand what it is to know and love someone completely, unconditionally. Who challenges me, pushes me, and cares about me more than I ever thought possible. Who is my best friend and makes me laugh every single day. Who I get to kiss in front of everyone next month and say "I do" to spending the rest of our lives having fun together, growing together, and making our world better together. 

And to the friends that have been there for me through the weird times and the happy time and the hard times and the many stages of me-- you're all amazing and I love you. If we've lost contact, I haven't lost any of the love for you. You're in my heart forever.

I never thought I'd have gotten here. Honestly, it's hard for me to think into the future. But if it's anything like the last 27 years... I'm pretty excited.